{"id":485,"date":"2025-01-19T19:51:11","date_gmt":"2025-01-19T19:51:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/?p=485"},"modified":"2025-01-19T19:51:11","modified_gmt":"2025-01-19T19:51:11","slug":"bosanmayi-yordayan-unsurlar-ve-yeniden-evlilikte-dikkat-edilmesi-gerekenler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/2025\/01\/19\/bosanmayi-yordayan-unsurlar-ve-yeniden-evlilikte-dikkat-edilmesi-gerekenler\/","title":{"rendered":"Bo\u015fanmay\u0131 Yordayan Unsurlar ve Yeniden Evlilikte Dikkat Edilmesi Gerekenler"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Gottman Bak\u0131\u015f A\u00e7\u0131s\u0131yla Bo\u015fanmay\u0131 Yordayan Unsurlar<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Psikolog Dr. John Gottman, \u00e7ift ili\u015fkilerini ve evlilik dinamiklerini inceleyen en etkili ara\u015ft\u0131rmac\u0131lardan biridir. Gottman, \u00e7iftlerin bo\u015fanma ihtimalini y\u00fcksek do\u011frulukla tahmin edebilmi\u015f ve bunu d\u00f6rt temel davran\u0131\u015f modeliyle a\u00e7\u0131klam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Bu davran\u0131\u015flar, \u201cMah\u015ferin D\u00f6rt Atl\u0131s\u0131\u201d olarak adland\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"780\" height=\"470\" data-id=\"486\" src=\"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/kadinlarin-bosamna-sonrasi-yasadiklari-780x470-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-486\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/kadinlarin-bosamna-sonrasi-yasadiklari-780x470-1.jpg 780w, https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/kadinlarin-bosamna-sonrasi-yasadiklari-780x470-1-300x181.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/kadinlarin-bosamna-sonrasi-yasadiklari-780x470-1-768x463.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 780px) 100vw, 780px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>1. Ele\u015ftiri<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Partnerin ki\u015fili\u011fine y\u00f6nelik sert ele\u015ftiriler, ili\u015fki dinamiklerini y\u0131prat\u0131r. \u201cNeden b\u00f6yle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun?\u201d yerine, \u201cSen hep b\u00f6ylesin!\u201d gibi ki\u015fiselle\u015ftirilmi\u015f ifadeler, zamanla duygusal ba\u011flar\u0131 zay\u0131flat\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>2. A\u015fa\u011f\u0131lama (Hor G\u00f6rme)<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>A\u015fa\u011f\u0131lama, ili\u015fkinin en tehlikeli dinamiklerinden biridir. \u0130roni, alay, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmseme veya g\u00f6z devirme gibi davran\u0131\u015flar, partnerler aras\u0131nda sevgi ve g\u00fcvenin erozyona u\u011framas\u0131na neden olur. Gottman\u2019a g\u00f6re, hor g\u00f6rme ili\u015fkideki kopu\u015fun en g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc g\u00f6stergesidir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>3. Savunmac\u0131l\u0131k<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Herhangi bir tart\u0131\u015fmada s\u00fcrekli savunmaya ge\u00e7mek, partnerin hislerini anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak yerine kendini hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak, ileti\u015fim kopuklu\u011funu art\u0131r\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>4. Duvar \u00d6rme<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Partnerin duygusal ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 tepkisiz kalma, ileti\u015fimi kesme ve fiziksel ya da duygusal olarak geri \u00e7ekilme, ili\u015fkinin biti\u015fine giden yolu h\u0131zland\u0131r\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bu d\u00f6rt davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n s\u00fcrekli ve yo\u011fun bir \u015fekilde ya\u015fanmas\u0131, ili\u015fkide onar\u0131m\u0131 zor hale getirir ve bo\u015fanmay\u0131 ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz k\u0131labilir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Gottman Yakla\u015f\u0131m\u0131 ile Onar\u0131m Stratejileri<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bo\u015fanmay\u0131 yordayan unsurlar aras\u0131nda yer alan &#8220;Mah\u015ferin D\u00f6rt Atl\u0131s\u0131&#8221;n\u0131n ili\u015fkide etkilerini azaltmak i\u00e7in Gottman\u2019\u0131n \u00f6nerdi\u011fi onar\u0131m stratejileri \u015funlard\u0131r:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Ele\u015ftiri Yerine \u015eikayet Dili Kullan\u0131n:<br><\/strong>Ele\u015ftiriyi \u00f6nlemek i\u00e7in davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 hedef alan yap\u0131c\u0131 bir dil tercih edin. \u00d6rne\u011fin, \u201cBeni hi\u00e7 dinlemiyorsun!\u201d yerine, \u201cKonu\u015ftuklar\u0131m\u0131 dinlemedi\u011finde kendimi yaln\u0131z hissediyorum\u201d diyebilirsiniz.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Hor G\u00f6rmeyi Empatiyle De\u011fi\u015ftirin:<br><\/strong>Partnerinizi a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lamak yerine empati yapmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131n. Onun ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 anlamaya odaklanmak, ili\u015fkinizi d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrebilir.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Savunmac\u0131l\u0131k Yerine Sorumluluk Al\u0131n:<br><\/strong>Tart\u0131\u015fmalarda kendi hatalar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 kabul etmek, partnerinizin hislerini anlamaya y\u00f6nelik \u00f6nemli bir ad\u0131m olacakt\u0131r.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Duvar \u00d6rme Yerine \u0130leti\u015fim Kurmaya \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131n:<br><\/strong>Tart\u0131\u015fma s\u0131ras\u0131nda geri \u00e7ekildi\u011finizi hissediyorsan\u0131z, bir mola verin ve sakinle\u015ftikten sonra konu\u015fmaya devam edin.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Bo\u015fanma S\u00fcrecinde ve Sonras\u0131nda Yeniden Evlilik<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bo\u015fanma sonras\u0131nda yeniden evlenme, bir\u00e7ok ki\u015fi i\u00e7in karma\u015f\u0131k bir s\u00fcre\u00e7 olabilir. Ge\u00e7mi\u015f ili\u015fkiden al\u0131nan derslerle yeni bir ili\u015fkiyi \u015fekillendirmek hem f\u0131rsat hem de zorluklar i\u00e7erir. Yeniden evlenmek isteyen ki\u015filerin dikkat etmesi gereken baz\u0131 noktalar \u015funlard\u0131r:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>1. Ge\u00e7mi\u015f \u0130li\u015fkiyi De\u011ferlendirin<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Ge\u00e7mi\u015fteki hatalar ve \u00f6\u011frenilen dersler \u00fczerine d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek \u00f6nemlidir.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Eski ili\u015fkinizdeki sorunlar\u0131, yeni ili\u015fkinize ta\u015f\u0131mamak i\u00e7in \u00f6z de\u011ferlendirme yap\u0131n.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>2. Duygusal Haz\u0131rl\u0131k ve Kapan\u0131\u015f<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Eski ili\u015fkinizin duygusal y\u00fcklerini tamamen b\u0131rakmadan yeni bir ili\u015fkiye ba\u015flamak sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 olmaz.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ayr\u0131l\u0131k yas\u0131n\u0131 tam anlam\u0131yla tutup kapan\u0131\u015f yapmadan evlilik karar\u0131 almay\u0131n.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>3. \u0130leti\u015fimi G\u00fc\u00e7lendirin<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Gottman\u2019\u0131n \u00f6nerdi\u011fi gibi, yeni ili\u015fkinizde a\u00e7\u0131k, samimi ve \u015fefkatli bir ileti\u015fim kurmaya \u00f6zen g\u00f6sterin.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Duygular\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 ifade etmeyi \u00f6\u011frenin ve partnerinizin duygular\u0131na alan tan\u0131y\u0131n.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>4. Yeni Evlili\u011fe Ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i Beklentilerle Yakla\u015f\u0131n<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cBu ili\u015fki \u00f6nceki hatalar\u0131 d\u00fczeltecek\u201d ya da \u201cBu sefer m\u00fckemmel olacak\u201d gibi ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i olmayan beklentilere kap\u0131lmay\u0131n.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Hi\u00e7bir ili\u015fkinin kusursuz olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kabul edin.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>5. \u00c7ocuk ve Aile Dinamiklerini D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Yeniden evlilik, \u00e7ocuk sahibi ki\u015filer i\u00e7in daha karma\u015f\u0131k hale gelebilir. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n yeni ili\u015fkiye uyum sa\u011flamas\u0131 zaman alabilir.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Yeni e\u015finizle \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n ili\u015fkisini sab\u0131rla in\u015fa edin ve \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zmede hassas olun.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>6. G\u00fcven \u0130n\u015fa Etmeye Odaklan\u0131n<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Ge\u00e7mi\u015f ili\u015fkilerdeki hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131, yeni ili\u015fkide g\u00fcven sorunlar\u0131na yol a\u00e7abilir. G\u00fcven in\u015fas\u0131, a\u00e7\u0131k ileti\u015fim ve zamanla ger\u00e7ekle\u015fir.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a><\/a><strong>7. Profesyonel Destek Al\u0131n<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Yeniden evlenmeden \u00f6nce veya evlilik s\u0131ras\u0131nda bir \u00e7ift terapistiyle \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak, ili\u015fkinin g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc temeller \u00fczerinde ilerlemesini sa\u011flar.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Sonu\u00e7 olarak;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gottman\u2019\u0131n teorilerine g\u00f6re, bir ili\u015fkide sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 ileti\u015fim, \u015fefkat ve duygusal destek, evliliklerin ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olmas\u0131nda kritik bir rol oynar. Bu ilkeler, bo\u015fanmay\u0131 \u00f6nlemek kadar yeniden evliliklerde de g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir temel olu\u015fturur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yeni bir ili\u015fkiye ad\u0131m atarken ge\u00e7mi\u015fteki deneyimlerinizi g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irmek, duygusal ba\u011flar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde in\u015fa etmek ve a\u00e7\u0131k ileti\u015fim kurmak hem ki\u015fisel hem de ili\u015fkisel olarak tatmin edici bir birliktelik sa\u011flayacakt\u0131r. Unutmay\u0131n, her ili\u015fki bir \u00f6\u011frenme s\u00fcrecidir ve yeniden ba\u015flamak i\u00e7in asla ge\u00e7 de\u011fildir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gottman Bak\u0131\u015f A\u00e7\u0131s\u0131yla Bo\u015fanmay\u0131 Yordayan Unsurlar Psikolog Dr. John Gottman, \u00e7ift ili\u015fkilerini ve evlilik dinamiklerini inceleyen en etkili ara\u015ft\u0131rmac\u0131lardan biridir. Gottman, \u00e7iftlerin bo\u015fanma ihtimalini y\u00fcksek do\u011frulukla tahmin edebilmi\u015f ve bunu d\u00f6rt temel davran\u0131\u015f modeliyle a\u00e7\u0131klam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Bu davran\u0131\u015flar, \u201cMah\u015ferin D\u00f6rt Atl\u0131s\u0131\u201d olarak adland\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r: 1. Ele\u015ftiri Partnerin ki\u015fili\u011fine y\u00f6nelik sert ele\u015ftiriler, ili\u015fki dinamiklerini y\u0131prat\u0131r. \u201cNeden b\u00f6yle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun?\u201d [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"saved_in_kubio":false,"_joinchat":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/485","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=485"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/485\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":487,"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/485\/revisions\/487"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duygubakir.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}